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The Rights of Family Members
By: Shaikh ul Arab wal Ajam Hazrat Maulana Shah Hakeem Muhammad Akhtar Saheb (ra)
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Book: The Rights of Family Members
35. The Punishment for Causing Distress to One’s Parents

My Shaikh, Hazrat Maulana Shah Abdul Ghani Saheb Phulpuri (Rahmatullah Alaihe) said, “A person placed a rope around his father’s neck and dragged him till he reached a sugar-cane plantation. The father said to his son, “Do not drag me any further, otherwise you will be an oppressor.” The son said, “Father, was this dragging of forty or fifty steps from the house-door till here not oppression?” He replied, “No, because I dragged your grandfather i.e. my father till here.” A Hadith states that the punishment of other sins will be meted out in the hereafter. However, the punishment for distressing one’s parents will be meted out in this world. Whoever causes harm to his parents, his death will not come until he tastes the punishment for his actions. Therefore, one should be tolerant in his dealings with them. One should continue consulting. If any excesses occur from their side, then keeping in mind their age, overlook them. This is just like when a small child errs. People say, “He is still a small child.” Similarly, when one’s parents become old, their minds become weak. There is an incident of a hindu banya. He once sat in the courtyard of his house with his son in his lap. A crow perched itself on a nearby wall. The child asked his father, “What is this?” He answered, “This is a crow.” The child continued asking and he continued answering. This happened one hundred times. The banya said to his munshi (clerk) to note it down in his diary. When he had grown old, one day a crow came and perched itself on the wall. He asked his son, “O my son, what is that?” the son answered, “A crow.” He repeated the question a number of times. After answering thrice, on the forth occasion the son retorted, “don’t chatter so much. Listen properly. What are you repeating? I have already answered you thrice.” The father asked for his diary and showed his son, “when you were small, you asked me the same question 100 times and I answered 100 times. Now you have become upset after answering thrice.” If one’s children are not religious-minded, then service to their parents will seem burdensome. Friends! If any person distresses his parents, his death will not come until he tastes its punishment. These are the worst of habit. Rasulullah (Sallellaho Alaihe Wasallam) said, “By repenting, Allah Ta'ala will forgive all his sins however he well not forgive disobedience to one’s parents. Before death, Allah Ta'ala will send down His punishment on that person. He will not live peaceful. He will always be involved in some calamity or the other. In Bombay, I met one Maulawi Saheb. He was wearing a long kurta and a round topi. He was beyat to Hazrat Maulana Abdul Ghani Phulpuri (Rahmatullah Alaihe). He was particular in tahajjud. However once due to his wife, he said something undesirable to his mother. His mother cursed him, “May Allah Ta'ala make it such that you become a leper. I personally saw the effects of leprosy on his hand. He was just about twenty or twenty-five years old. He showed me that his finger was rotting and withering away. I asked him, “How did you become like this? He answered, “This is due to the curse of my mother.”

One Sahabi was on the verge of death. People urged him to recite the Kalimah. However, he could not recite it. Rasulullah (Sallellaho Alaihe Wasallam) called for his mother. When she arrived, Rasulullah (Sallellaho Alaihe Wasallam) asked, “would you like that your son burns in the fire?” she answered in the negative, Rasulullah (Sallellaho Alaihe Wasallam) then remarked, “Then quickly forgive him. As soon as she had done so this Sahabi recited the Kalimah and his soul departed.

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